


First Date

by Oracle507



Series: Bad Things Happen Bingo [6]
Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Anxiety | Virgil Sanders Has Panic Attacks, Bad Decisions, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff and Angst, Gen, Insomnia, Panic Attacks, Self-Harm, Sympathetic Dark Creativity | Remus "The Duke" Sanders
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-06
Updated: 2020-12-06
Packaged: 2021-03-09 20:15:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,895
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27922105
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Oracle507/pseuds/Oracle507
Summary: Thomas has his first date with Nico coming up. While all the other sides celebrate, Virgil can't help but worry over how many things could go wrong. Still, he couldn't let himself ruin everyone else's fun. Everyone was so happy. How could he bring everyone down like that?
Relationships: Anxiety | Virgil Sanders & Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders, Anxiety | Virgil Sanders & Dark Creativity | Remus "The Duke" Sanders
Series: Bad Things Happen Bingo [6]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1859785
Comments: 7
Kudos: 64
Collections: Bad Things Happen Bingo





	First Date

**Author's Note:**

> TW: Panic attacks, insomnia, bad coping mechanisms, thought spirals, uncommon type of self-harm (it isn't acknowledged as such in the story, but that is what it is).  
> This was written for the prompt Panic Attacks.

‘Thomas has a date tomorrow.’

That was all Virgil could think as the sides met for dinner. It must have also been on the other sides’ minds given their joyful mood. Patton cooked Lasagna for everyone, something that he only ever does for celebratory purposes. Roman sang Disney love songs while dancing around the dining table. Even the ever-serious Logan allowed himself a slight grin.

Janus, too, had a lighter air around him than normal as he entered the room. Virgil tried not to flinch at the sight of him. He could accept Janus’s new place in the group (eventually), but that didn’t mean he had to like it. If the sides wanted to let this manipulative, slimy snake boy into their group, that’s their business.

‘They’re so happy. That’s only going to make things worse if something goes wrong tomorrow.’ Despite being the one to quite literally push Thomas into this relationship, Virgil’s excitement had recently gone back to his regular brand of anxiety. He did his best to hide this from the others. The last thing he wanted to do was dampen their mood. He’ll do his best tomorrow to keep Thomas in check, warning him of potential social dangers. Until then, he just had to wait.

* * *

It was past midnight and still Virgil didn’t sleep. ‘I wanted to start off with a movie. Nico could pick and all Thomas would need to do is sit quietly and not embarrass himself. But no. Instead we’re going to dinner because Roman thinks they’re more romantic. Typical…’

Virgil continued scrolling through his Youtube recommendations in a vain attempt to stop thinking about the date. His brain refused to stop running through possible issues. ‘What if he’s looked up Thomas’s Youtube channel and didn’t like it? What if they can’t find anything to talk about? What if Thomas is a super messy eater and Nico freaks out?’ He knew those thoughts were just him instinctively doing his job, but desperately wished they would just stop for once. He was the one who made this happen. Why should he get to complain about it?

He yawned. His eyes started to drift closed when he shook his head. ‘No, don’t sleep.’ Sleep meant tomorrow would come faster. That meant the date would come faster. Virgil wasn’t ready for that. ‘Maybe I should go downstairs to make some coffee.’

No, he couldn’t. One of the other sides could hear him and call him out for his bad decision making. They knew about his occasional insomnia, Logan even helped him come up with a game plan for when it happens, but no one knew about this. How he would sometimes force himself to stay awake if it meant holding off certain things as long as possible. Forces outside of his control that lead to bad health was one thing. Choosing to sacrifice health as opposed to dealing with stressful things was another matter entirely. Virgil wouldn’t let the others know about this.

Over time, Virgil’s vision became hazy. He no longer scrolled to find new videos, but as something for his hands to do as his thoughts raced. ‘Thomas’s last relationship ended horribly. Patton was sad for months. What if that happens again? Roman is so excited. What if something goes wrong during the first date? What if Nico turns out to be a jerk but Roman wants to keep dating him because he doesn’t see that and just wants Thomas in a relationship? What if I have to break Roman’s heart by making Thomas break up with him?

‘What if Nico breaks up with Thomas because of something I made Thomas do?’

Virgil’s breaths came out painfully and strained. A headache throbbed in his brain as increasingly anxious thoughts swirled around. He struggled to sit up. ‘Maybe it’s time to go to the others, or at least Logan. I can tell him this is just a regular spout of insomnia… No, I can’t. I’m not a good liar. I’m not… Him.’

Water would help. Distractions would help. If he went to the kitchen now, anyone who woke up would just assume this was a normal panic attack and wouldn’t ask for an explanation. He would say he’s panicking (true) and needs water and distraction to calm down (true). No need for them to learn he did this to himself.

He forced his legs over the side of the bed, headache pounding harder with every movement. His vision grew blurry as he stood. ‘Shit. I waited way too long before dealing with this. He took a few deep breaths before leaving for the kitchen.

* * *

No one seemed to care what Remus thought of Thomas’s date with Nico. Not that he really had any opinions on that. It’d be fun to throw hot coffee in his face or something equally exciting (Thomas wasn’t ready for the big stuff yet), but Remus felt that way about all of Thomas’s friends. Him being a partner didn’t really change much. Once they stated having sex on the other hand… Thomas never did that sort of thing on the first date. Shame, since Remus had come up with lots of ideas since the last one left. 

Either way, the date was none of Remus’s business. He would much rather spend his time planning surprises for the other sides. Well, less planning and more thinking of different things for hours while drinking coffee to get the creative juices flowing. Unlike the other sides, Remus didn’t need sleep, which meant more time for this. Even if he did need to sleep, why would he do it at night like the others? Sleeping Thomas gave Remus a lot more control than Regular Thomas did. ‘Stupid buzzkiller…’

The sound of footsteps came from outside the kitchen. ‘Ohhhh! Showtime!’ Wondering who his prey could be, Remus hid in one of the cabinets. The footsteps came closer…. Closer. “Hah!” Remus stuck his hand out and grabbed the person’s ankle. The person screamed as they fell. ‘Virgil? Perfect!’ He left the cabinet and stood over his target who was… crying? ‘Shit.’

Virgil’s breaths came out far too fast. “Sorry, sorry.” Remus ran to get him some water. Thankfully, Virgil could calm himself down with his breathing exercises. He handed him the glass. “Sorry, didn’t know you’d freak out like that.”

Virgil took a few sips before rubbing his forehead. ‘Weird, my tricks shouldn’t actually hurt them.’ “I was already… freaking out. I just wanted some water.” He didn’t meet Remus’s eyes. Remus knew their relationship had been strained for a while, but that still hurt a little.

“Now that you’ve got some, you should go to your room. I’ve already claimed here for the night. You’re welcome to stay, but I don’t think you’ll like it.”

“Alright, I’ll go.” He stood up and made for the door. He stopped when he saw the coffee pot. “You mind if I have some?”

“What? But you’re- Oh, you’re doing that thing again.” Back before Virgil left Janus and Remus to hang out with the loser sides, he had this nasty habit of forcing himself to stay up all night. Remus used to help him by offering up various distractions. That went on until Janus caught the two of them playing Russian Roulette Monopoly at 4am. Remus refused from that point forward, not wanting to help his friend hurt himself like that. Janus might be a buzzkill sometimes, but Remus never wanted to actually hurt any of the sides so he’d listen to the snek sometimes.

“Just give me the coffee, Remus.”

“Nope!” Remus grabbed the pot and hugged it against his chest. “Mine.”

Virgil rolled his eyes. “Fine. Not like I have to last that much longer anyway.”

“You’re not lasting at all. You’re going to sleep.”

“Listen, it’s almost sunrise anyway. I’ll be fine if-”

Remus slammed the coffee pot down on the counter, not hard enough to break but loud enough to make Virgil flinch. “You need to sleep. I know you’re worried about the date, but you aren’t gonna be able help Thomas if you’re half asleep.”

“Why do you care?”

“How is Thomas ever gonna be able to bone someone if all his first dates suck?”

Virgil sighed. “You really are the worst sometimes. Fine.” He turned and left the kitchen.

“I’m gonna check in on you later!” Remus called after him. “If you’re not asleep, I’m pouring this coffee on your head!”

“Promise?” Virgil called back. Remus smiled. Maybe their friendship wasn’t so bad off after all.

* * *

“What are you doing to him, you fiend!” Some screamed, waking Virgil from his sleep. He opened his eyes.Remus stood in front of him with his mace out. Roman was at the door, sword drawn and ready to fight. ‘Shit.’

“He’s fine, Roman,” Virgil said. “He didn’t do anything wrong.” He sat up. “Put those stupid weapons down.”

Remus dropped his mace. “Fine, but you need to go back to sleep.” He glared at Roman. “And people call me the evil brother. I wasn’t gonna wake him but, but you just had to ruin it.”

Roman reluctantly put his sword back in its sheath. “You’re the one breaking into other sides’ rooms. I’m not leaving until you do.”

“Fine, fine.” Remus disappeared.

“Thank you for defending my honor or whatever,” Virgil said. “Now let me go back to sleep.”

“Why? It’s already morning.”

“I-” Memories started to break through his early-morning haze. ‘The date.’ “You’re right, I should get up.” He flung his legs over the side of the bed and stood up.

“No, wait.” Roman took a couple steps towards him. “You look exhausted. Did you not sleep last night?”

“I…” ‘No lying.’ “Yeah, I was thinking about the date, but it’s fine.”

“No, it’s not.” He pushed Virgil lightly, making him sit back down on the bed. “Why didn’t you come see one of us? We would’ve helped you.”

‘Because I didn’t want help. I didn’t want to sleep because that meant the date would come faster and-’ “You’re all so excited. I don’t want to drag everyone down.”

Roman sat down next to him. “I know I used to say things like that, but I don’t anymore. I want things to go well, for Thomas to get married and get famous and buy a mansion, but that can’t happen if we don’t think about the things that could stop him. I see that now. If you keep quiet and don’t tell us what’s worrying you, we’re just gonna mess up more. I don’t want that.”

“But I also make things worse sometimes. I overreact.”

“And that’s what we’re here for. We’re all gonna work together to make this date great for Thomas, and that means you need to tell us what’s got you worried.”

Virgil nodded. “Thanks. That… thanks.”

Roman stood up and bowed exaggeratedly. “Of course. How could a prince achieve his dreams without his knight to look out for dangers.” He grinned. “Now, get some more sleep. I’ll tell the others to save you some breakfast for later.”

He left and Virgil laid back down. He still didn’t want to tell them about his bad habit, but it felt good to know how much Roman appreciated him now. As his brain drifted back to sleep, one thought remained. ‘Did he really just call me his knight?’

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! I'm always looking to improve, so feel free to leave your criticisms/questions in the comments or message me on my Tumblr. You can also ask me anything regarding the characters in this AU (ages, more about their appearances, things like that). Link to Tumblr: https://nerdywriterhaven.tumblr.com/  
> Me, projecting my bad habits onto fictional characters? Never!  
> Seriously, I hope you all enjoyed this. I'll bring my DnD au back soon, but I wanted to take a little break from that since it didn't get much attention and that was really disheartening. Hopefully people will like this more.


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